Skiing Owdham style
sung by Larry Kearns acc. Gerry Kearns (guitar)
You can keep yer slopes at Aviemore an’ yer Alps of Eastern France,
To yer winter sports in Austria we wouldn’t go given the chance.
Where do the “Oldham top knobs” go to gain their winter thrill?
Oh they don their togs an’ they point their clogs to the ski slopes on Counthill.
Oh this Oldham sporting focal point fills us wi’ Civic Pride,
There’s folk comes up from Hollinwood an’ Mumps an’ Shaw beside.
To the Highfield après-ski lodge they come from near and far,
An’ they sup mild beer wi’ polluted ice from the glacier at Grains Bar.
Oh you’ve seen ‘em ski a la Françoise wi’ lumps o’ wood on t’ feet.
If you’ve ne’er seen skiin’ Owdham style, you’ve missed a gradely treat.
They slalom down the man-made slopes dodgin’ dandelions,
Sittin’ on bits o’ cardboard an’ corrugated iron.
Oh they’ve written to see if th’ Olympic Games can be held on our slopes,
As yet they’ve getten no reply but council lives in hopes,
They’ve got five iron wringer wheels to put up on full view,
An’ fer th’ Olympic Village they’ll build flats on Bardsley Broo.
So if you come to Owdham town there’s things you must remember.
Wear yer britches backside torn from April ‘til September.
Torn pants are a status symbol now so “bare up” with a will,
An’ you’ll look like one of the trendy set that skis upon Counthill.
(L.Kearns/G.Kearns)
© Oldham Tinkers.
You can keep yer slopes at Aviemore an’ yer Alps of Eastern France,
To yer winter sports in Austria we wouldn’t go given the chance.
Where do the “Oldham top knobs” go to gain their winter thrill?
Oh they don their togs an’ they point their clogs to the ski slopes on Counthill.
Oh this Oldham sporting focal point fills us wi’ Civic Pride,
There’s folk comes up from Hollinwood an’ Mumps an’ Shaw beside.
To the Highfield après-ski lodge they come from near and far,
An’ they sup mild beer wi’ polluted ice from the glacier at Grains Bar.
Oh you’ve seen ‘em ski a la Françoise wi’ lumps o’ wood on t’ feet.
If you’ve ne’er seen skiin’ Owdham style, you’ve missed a gradely treat.
They slalom down the man-made slopes dodgin’ dandelions,
Sittin’ on bits o’ cardboard an’ corrugated iron.
Oh they’ve written to see if th’ Olympic Games can be held on our slopes,
As yet they’ve getten no reply but council lives in hopes,
They’ve got five iron wringer wheels to put up on full view,
An’ fer th’ Olympic Village they’ll build flats on Bardsley Broo.
So if you come to Owdham town there’s things you must remember.
Wear yer britches backside torn from April ‘til September.
Torn pants are a status symbol now so “bare up” with a will,
An’ you’ll look like one of the trendy set that skis upon Counthill.
(L.Kearns/G.Kearns)
© Oldham Tinkers.
Not a quarter of a mile from where Larry lives was a dry ski slope which, after being installed on Counthill for an enormous price, lay unused for months on end except by the children of the area who negotiated the slope sitting on hunks of prams, on cardboard sheets or on sheets of corrugated iron. With this situation in mind Gerry and Larry Kearns wrote a song with tongue in cheek giving Oldham all the ice blue hue, tinsel and glamour of an Alpine winter sports centre. Incidentally, and happily, the piste for some time after was used for its intended purpose. However this did not deter the odd kid from having a joyride on his sheet of corrugated iron.
First recorded and published by Topic Records 1974.
Album: BEST O’T’ BUNCH 12TS237 STEREO
Recorded at Livingstone Studios
Produced by Tony Engle
Notes by A. L. Lloyd and The Oldham Tinkers
Re-released by © PIER RECORDS 1999 under licence from TOPIC RECORDS, England.
BBC Broadcaster Andy Kershaw put this CD together with the help of PIER RECORDS on an album entitled A FINE OLD ENGLISH GENTLEMAN, The Best of the Topic Years. PIERCD 501
Album: BEST O’T’ BUNCH 12TS237 STEREO
Recorded at Livingstone Studios
Produced by Tony Engle
Notes by A. L. Lloyd and The Oldham Tinkers
Re-released by © PIER RECORDS 1999 under licence from TOPIC RECORDS, England.
BBC Broadcaster Andy Kershaw put this CD together with the help of PIER RECORDS on an album entitled A FINE OLD ENGLISH GENTLEMAN, The Best of the Topic Years. PIERCD 501