John Willie's Performing Newt
John Howarth vocal; Gerry Kearns chorus & guitar; Larry Kearns chorus and mandolin
In a Cowboy picture, once I saw a horse get steaming drunk.
They say that in America there’s a man who tamed a skunk.
You can go to the Bahamas, Casablanca or Beirut,
But you’ll find nowt there that can compare with John Willie’s Performing Newt.
Chorus
What a belter what a dancer,
He couldn’t sing a word, he’s mute,
He could dance the slippers off a centipede,
John Willie’s performing newt
A brilliant escapologist this rare amphibian being,
This dreadnought eft performed some feats that Kings have enjoyed seeing.
He can wriggle ‘cross a red hot grate with glowing coals and logs on.
Never once has he singed his feet: he always keeps his clogs on.
Chorus
In Cadiz they call him Pistazza and prefer him to the bull,
When he dances to Flamenco hear the deadly Spanish lull.
He wriggles to the rhythm of the drum, guitar and lute
And the Senoritas shout “bravo” John Willie’s Pistazza Newt.
Chorus
He danced before John Wayne one day, you should have seen him buzz
When told he came from Oldham big John said “The Hell he does”
Said he must have been born in Texas, such a talented galloot,
This rootin’ tootin’ son of a gun John Willie’s Performing Newt.
Chorus
In a Cowboy picture, once I saw a horse get steaming drunk.
They say that in America there’s a man who tamed a skunk.
You can go to the Bahamas, Casablanca or Beirut,
But you’ll find nowt there that can compare with John Willie’s Performing Newt.
Chorus
What a belter what a dancer,
He couldn’t sing a word, he’s mute,
He could dance the slippers off a centipede,
John Willie’s performing newt
A brilliant escapologist this rare amphibian being,
This dreadnought eft performed some feats that Kings have enjoyed seeing.
He can wriggle ‘cross a red hot grate with glowing coals and logs on.
Never once has he singed his feet: he always keeps his clogs on.
Chorus
In Cadiz they call him Pistazza and prefer him to the bull,
When he dances to Flamenco hear the deadly Spanish lull.
He wriggles to the rhythm of the drum, guitar and lute
And the Senoritas shout “bravo” John Willie’s Pistazza Newt.
Chorus
He danced before John Wayne one day, you should have seen him buzz
When told he came from Oldham big John said “The Hell he does”
Said he must have been born in Texas, such a talented galloot,
This rootin’ tootin’ son of a gun John Willie’s Performing Newt.
Chorus
John Willie’s Performing Newt
Another addition to John Willie’s menagerie is the amphibious clog dancer; a supremo and charmer whose feats surely rival those of John Willie’s Ferret and John Willie’s Horse.
The words were written by Larry, the tune by Gerry, and the verses of the song are delivered by John, who keeps newts as a hobby.
Another addition to John Willie’s menagerie is the amphibious clog dancer; a supremo and charmer whose feats surely rival those of John Willie’s Ferret and John Willie’s Horse.
The words were written by Larry, the tune by Gerry, and the verses of the song are delivered by John, who keeps newts as a hobby.
That Lancashire Band LP 12TS399stereo
First published by TOPIC Records1979 by John Brierley, Cargo Recording Studio, Rochdale, April 1979. Notes by Larry Kearns / Sleeve illustration and design by John Atkinson
Produced by Tony Russell
Re-released on C.D. by Pier Records in 2000 under licence from Topic Records Ltd, England.
The C.D. The Oldham Tinkers, ‘That Lancashire Band’ PIERCD 504
The classic Lancashire folk album from 1979, available for the first time on CD, with three bonus tracks, full song notes and a sleeve note introduction from B.B.C. presenter Andy Kershaw.
First published by TOPIC Records1979 by John Brierley, Cargo Recording Studio, Rochdale, April 1979. Notes by Larry Kearns / Sleeve illustration and design by John Atkinson
Produced by Tony Russell
Re-released on C.D. by Pier Records in 2000 under licence from Topic Records Ltd, England.
The C.D. The Oldham Tinkers, ‘That Lancashire Band’ PIERCD 504
The classic Lancashire folk album from 1979, available for the first time on CD, with three bonus tracks, full song notes and a sleeve note introduction from B.B.C. presenter Andy Kershaw.