John willie's Grandad
John Howarth vocal; Gerry Kearns guitar & chorus; Larry Kearns chorus.
John Willie’s Grandad went to France
And roamed the Riviera in his underpants,
Shouting “Tickle mi fancy” and “Oo la la.”
The gendarmes flocked from near far
And he marmalized ‘em ‘till they cried enough;
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
He kicked ten bobbies up the cul de sac,
Gave blow for blow and crack for crack,
Shouting: “Eau de Cologne,” and “Negligee.”
It took 56 gendarmes to put him away.
From his prison cell you could hear his voice far off:
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
He bent the bars of his prison cell,
And he damned them French gendarmes to Huddersfield.
He shinned down the wall. What a coup de grace.
He fell but he landed on his paillasse.
Then like the slopstone ghost he bellowed up the sough:
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
Now if ever you’re in the town of Nice,
And you want to fear the nice Nice police
Mention John Willie’s granddad and the slopstone ghost
And they’ll jump and shout and leave their posts.
No longer will they stand there big and tough.
They say: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
John Willie’s granddad plays for Wigan now
In th’second row and bugger me how.
But they say he’ll never make a tour of France
‘cos the bobbies’d recognise his underpants
And his tackling that is far from powder puff.
“Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
Larry Kearns
John Willie’s Grandad went to France
And roamed the Riviera in his underpants,
Shouting “Tickle mi fancy” and “Oo la la.”
The gendarmes flocked from near far
And he marmalized ‘em ‘till they cried enough;
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
He kicked ten bobbies up the cul de sac,
Gave blow for blow and crack for crack,
Shouting: “Eau de Cologne,” and “Negligee.”
It took 56 gendarmes to put him away.
From his prison cell you could hear his voice far off:
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
He bent the bars of his prison cell,
And he damned them French gendarmes to Huddersfield.
He shinned down the wall. What a coup de grace.
He fell but he landed on his paillasse.
Then like the slopstone ghost he bellowed up the sough:
Singing: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
Now if ever you’re in the town of Nice,
And you want to fear the nice Nice police
Mention John Willie’s granddad and the slopstone ghost
And they’ll jump and shout and leave their posts.
No longer will they stand there big and tough.
They say: “Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
John Willie’s granddad plays for Wigan now
In th’second row and bugger me how.
But they say he’ll never make a tour of France
‘cos the bobbies’d recognise his underpants
And his tackling that is far from powder puff.
“Never rub yer yed against a roughyed’s yed
‘cos a roughyed’s yed’s reight rough.
Larry Kearns
John Willie’s Grand – Dad
Just as Edgar Rice-Burroughs wrote sequels to ‘Tarzan of the Apes’, so the John Willie Saga continues with a song about the hero’s grandfather’s antics in the land of the Gauls. The song was jointly written by Gerry and Larry. It is John’s ambition to make Nice and Wigan twin towns.
Just as Edgar Rice-Burroughs wrote sequels to ‘Tarzan of the Apes’, so the John Willie Saga continues with a song about the hero’s grandfather’s antics in the land of the Gauls. The song was jointly written by Gerry and Larry. It is John’s ambition to make Nice and Wigan twin towns.
First published by TOPIC 1979
That Lancashire Band LP 12TS399stereo
The Oldham Tinkers
First published by TOPIC 1979 by John Brierley, Cargo Recording Studio, Rochdale, April 1979. Notes by Larry Kearns / Sleeve illustration and design by John Atkinson
Produced by Tony Russell
Re-released on C.D. by Pier Records in 2000 under licence from Topic Records Ltd, England.
The C.D. The Oldham Tinkers, ‘That Lancashire Band’ PIERCD 504
The classic Lancashire folk album from 1979, available for the first time on CD, with three bonus tracks, full song notes and a sleeve note introduction from B.B.C. presenter Andy Kershaw.
That Lancashire Band LP 12TS399stereo
The Oldham Tinkers
First published by TOPIC 1979 by John Brierley, Cargo Recording Studio, Rochdale, April 1979. Notes by Larry Kearns / Sleeve illustration and design by John Atkinson
Produced by Tony Russell
Re-released on C.D. by Pier Records in 2000 under licence from Topic Records Ltd, England.
The C.D. The Oldham Tinkers, ‘That Lancashire Band’ PIERCD 504
The classic Lancashire folk album from 1979, available for the first time on CD, with three bonus tracks, full song notes and a sleeve note introduction from B.B.C. presenter Andy Kershaw.